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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Drama Returns - (Post 10)

The drama has returned. After a great day yesterday I was looking forward to starting our first full day without Mrs. K’s drama involved. Our day started off great with Mr. K making breakfast for everyone. I never knew he was talented in the kitchen, but his breakfast was impressive. Of course Tara is a great cook too but even she was impressed. She was also grateful to not be cooking herself. The plan for the day was we were going to take a day trip to Newport, RI to see the historic mansions and beaches. Kayley’s teacher had to postpone their session today so her day was wide open. Mr. K said he took the day off from work and told his assistant to hold all of his calls. That today was a day for Kayley. She was very excited and couldn’t wait to get going. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to make our trip. We were just about ready to go when Mrs. K showed up. She arrived with her mother at 9am. If she had only shown up ten minutes later we would have been gone already. Mr. K had the locks and alarm codes changed right after she left yesterday so when she attempted to enter the house using her keys, she couldn’t get in. This infuriated her instantly and she began pounding on the doors. Literally, I mean loudly and forcefully pounding down the door yelling for her husband. I took Kayley out the back door and into the yard. Just from the sound her yelling we didn’t want Kayley around for what may have been in store.

While outside Mr. K opened the door and Mrs. K continued to scream at him. She was so loud that I could hear from where we were in the back yard. It’s a very large house, so she would have to be elevating her voice to a very high level for us to actually hear and make out what she was saying. I could hear her screaming that she wanted her car and that he couldn’t keep it from her. I couldn’t believe it. Yesterday when she left she specifically said she wanted Tony to drive her to her mother’s house, not her drive herself in her own car. I know for a fact that she said this because I witnessed the conversation. I was in the same room as she said it. Mr. K was actually getting all the keys to her car together as she prepared to leave. She insisted that Tony drive her and that her car remain here. Then, just a little over twenty-four hours later she returned demanding her car as if it were being held hostage. It was so ridiculous! I didn’t want Kayley to hear this anymore so she and I took a walk. It turned into a flower-picking walk and she had fun but was disappointed that we hadn’t left yet for our trip.

While we were on our walk, the fighting continued. Tara later explained the entire thing to me. As soon as Mrs. K started yelling about her car Mr. K walked to the kitchen and retrieved all of the keys that belong to her car and handed them to her. He never once said she couldn’t have the car he bought for her. It was hers, it was a gift and he never planned to keep it. When the keys were in her hand she paused as if shocked that he just handed them over. She then started saying, “Well, I want the other one too.” Mr. K’s response was, “What other one?” What she demanded next kills me, she answered, “I want the A8.” She’s talking about the car that is only used when Tony is driving Mr. or Mrs. K around, and occasionally Kayley and I (it’s an Audi A8L for anyone that’s curious). Mr. K was floored as well. He responded in a very aggravated way, “What are you talking about? That’s not your car! You know that Tony is the only one who drives it and it’s all it’s used for. Why the hell would you take that one too? You already have your S8 (Audi S8), you don’t need the other one!” This went back and forth for several minutes and ended with Mr. K saying there was no way in hell she was getting that car too. She threatened to get her lawyer to go after it but Mr. K said, “Go ahead! I don’t give a shit! You won’t get both cars. It’s bullshit you’re demanding it to begin with and you know it.” I don’t understand why she thought she would just get both. It’s insane.
Right after the car fight she went into more demands. First was demanding money to hold her over, which Mr. K refused. She also demanded the keys to their vacation home in Florida again, Mr. K refused (when she left he arranged for the locks to be changes on that house). Her final demand was Tara. Yes, she demanded that Tara was to leave with her to help her at her mother’s house and Mr. K was to continue to pay her. If you’re anything like me, this made you literally laugh out loud. She’s being so incredibly ridiculous! Of course Mr. K flat out refused and told her she must drunk if she really thought he was going to give in to her every whim. This infuriated her and she actually denied every drinking. Her exact words were, “I haven’t had a drink in over three months so don’t accuse me of being drunk!” We all know this is a major lie. After this, Mr. K told her she needed to leave. She actually refused. She said she wasn’t going to leave unless he gave her money. She was actually demanding $20,000. She finally did leave empty handed (besides her car) after being there for over two hours. Kayley and I ended up at her friend Blake’s house after about thirty minutes walking around the neighborhood. After thirty minutes I called home and Tara told me the fighting was still going, so we just headed for her friend’s house.

Since the fight went on for so long and then Mr. K had to consult with his lawyers and make certain arrangements, our trip was postponed. We’re going tomorrow instead. Kayley was really disappointed. After we returned home she asked her dad where Mrs. K was. He answered that she left to go back to grandma’s house. She asked why and he decided to sit her down to explain the situation. I intended to leave the room and let them talk but he insisted I be there for the conversation. So, we sat down on the couch with Kayley in between us. Before he was able to begin Kayley asked, “Is mommy coming back?” It nearly broke my heart that she already seemed to know, even if she didn’t realize what it really meant. Kids are amazingly perceptive and always know more then you think. Mr. K answered with, “Sweetie, Mommy doesn’t live with us anymore. Mommy and Daddy have separated, which means we can’t be together anymore. She’s living with Grandma Rosie in New York right now.” I studied Kayley’s face waiting for the tears but they never came. Mr. K continued, “This is between Mommy and Daddy, you didn’t do anything wrong. We still love you and always will. That will never change. Mommy and Daddy just can’t love each other anymore.” I was glad that he made a clear point to tell her it wasn’t her fault but I knew we would need to continue to tell her. At first she just sat there and took it all in. Mr. K and I exchanged glances and then just watched her. She finally looked at me and then back at her father and asked, “Will I still see Mommy?” I was expecting this question but what she said right after left me shocked. She quickly added, “I don’t want to.” Mr. K and I were both speechless for a moment. He then said, “Of course you can still see your Mommy, whenever you want.” She then jumped up and said, “I don’t want to! I don’t want to be with Mommy! Mommy isn’t nice. Mommy is really mean and I don’t like her!”

This really surprised me at first. I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t that. She was on the brink of tears over not the idea of her mother being gone, but the idea of having to see her. It was shocking. I wasn’t even sure what to do or say. I was preparing myself for her demanding to see her mother, crying that her mother wasn’t in the house anymore, possibly acting out because of it. This was the last thing I was prepared for; I never even really considered it. From Mr. K’s face and him later saying so, he never expected this either. Mr. K hugged her and told her it was OK. That for now, she won’t see her mother for a little while, but reminded her that she could whenever she wanted, she just had to say so. I was glad he left it open for her in the event she does change her mind. I was also glad he didn’t promise that she wouldn’t have to since that could end up out of his control. Many courts don’t like taking custody away from the mother never mind visitation too. If Mr. K decides she wants her daughter, it will be a difficult fight for Mr. K. I was happy that he didn’t make any promises that he couldn’t keep. We were able to settle Kayley down and finish our talk. At the end she said she was happy her mom was gone and never wants her to come back. It’s so sad isn’t it? A child would not want her own mother. Unfortunately, her mother doesn’t seem to want her either. The entire time Mrs. K was here this morning she never once brought up Kayley. She demanded money, cars, and houses but never asked to see Kayley or asked how she was doing. She never even brought her up at all. A mother her truly loved and cared for her child wouldn’t have left without her, wouldn’t have focused more on money and cars then her child. It’s horrible. It breaks my heart. I feel bad for Kayley because she should have a loving mother but instead she as a drunk mess.

I didn’t intend to stay up this late. We have quite a day planned for tomorrow. It will take several hours to Newport and then spending our day there. It should be fun though. I’m sure Kayley will enjoy it. I’m enjoying reading your comments and hope you will continue to write them.

I do have a question for all the readers of this blog. I’ve never been nanny for a child while their parents were divorcing. I want to be there for Kayley as much as possible. Since her response was the complete opposite from how I expected her too, I’m really not sure what to do. So if anyone has any advice, would you mind sharing it with me? I’m sure some of you nannies have had to work for a family while they were divorcing, or possibly parents who have divorced their spouses with young children in the middle. I could really use your advice and experience. Thank you in advance.

Mady

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am not a nannie yet. I did however did daycare for many years
and I have two children of my own
both of my kids are older now 11year old and 8 years old. They both
have best freinds really close they have been friends with these friends since they we're 3 months
old. These friends parents are now going through divorce's too.And my kids are haveing a hard with it,
because they see their parents like their own when they are at their house. So my advice to you and my kids is be blessed that you are able to be there for this kid.
She needs you more now then ever...
you also need to be honest.When and if you have to go to court on this kids behave you have to do what's right for the kid. Her mom
dosen't deserve her. I'm sure deep
down in this little girls heart you are like her mom,you know her better than her mom. So good luck
remember god is on your side..
God bless you both.

Lauren said...

I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy reading your blog. You're a captivating writer and I hope you will continue!

Anonymous said...

hi,

u havent posted in a while and i really enjoy your blogs just wondering wats goin on

curious

Megan said...

Hi
I am curious as to why you aren't blogging anymore. Did you move the site again? I have been a nanny for the past 10 years so I can identify somewhat with what you are going through. I hope all is well.

Anonymous said...

Hey. I was curious as to where she has been as well. I have been checking just about everyday but there hasnt been a new post in more than a couple weeks now or so. Strange..hope everything is ok though!!

kelly said...

Hello! where are you? we miss your blogs! Hurry back :)

Anonymous said...

Hi, just wondering if you're going to blog again?

Anonymous said...

I dont think she is going to be coming back. I wonder what happened. I loved reading her stories. Hope she and the family are ok.

Anonymous said...

it was all made up stories anyway for a creative writting class. thats why she hasnt posted in a long time