Saturday, April 19, 2008

Clean up on aisle five! - (Post 5)

You are reading a post from one very tired nanny. Since I was up pretty late last night and then up at our usual 8am, it’s safe to say that I’m wiped. I plan to head to bed soon but I wanted to get my post in. The day started kind of rough but it rounded out to be a decent day. Kayley was doing much better this morning. Her eyes were a little itchy but beyond that she felt fine. A little allergy medication and she was good to go. She was happy to get out of the house today even if it was only for a little while. She had another school session this afternoon so we had to be back by 3pm. I was glad to get her out too since today was simple gorgeous! We were able to meet up with Blake and his nanny Kelly for a trip to the park. We even had a little picnic and the kids were able to feed some ducks and swans. Blake and Kayley even went on a “fairy hunt” in any flowers they could find. It was really cute. We have a trip to the zoo planned for tomorrow and Kayley is really excited about it. Blake and another friend, Leah will be going too. It should be a fun day.

As for this morning, Mrs. K woke up in a really bitchy mood. She definitely had a hangover after her night of drinking so I wasn’t expecting a cheerful person to emerge from that bedroom. Actually I wasn’t expecting her to get up until the afternoon sometime. For some reason she decided to grace us with her presence around 8:30am and the first thing she did was complain. She actually freaked out because the flowers were missing! The first thing that came out of her mouth was, “Tara! Tara! Where did the flowers go? I didn’t tell you to move them. Where did they go? I want them back on this table right now!” Poor Tara was floored. She couldn’t believe this woman was demanding the very flowers that she smashed only several hours before. Tara then explained what happened. She said it as quickly as possible; I think she was just trying to get out of the situation as fast as she could. There was such a long pause that I really had no idea what was coming. Actually, I was just trying to will Kayley to finish eating so we could get ready and out of the house. Mrs. K seemed to ignore the main part of the story Tara told her and just said, “Well, I want more flowers so call the florist and have more delivered.” With that she went into the kitchen while complaining that it was too bright in the house.

Kayley and I were just about to walk out of the kitchen when Mrs. K suddenly called her name. I groaned worried this wasn’t going to go well with her horrible mood. Kayley skipped over to her and chirped, “good morning, Mommy!” She’s such a happy little girl and is always in a good mood. Well, that is until her mother finds a way to squash it. We never really found out why Mrs. K called her daughter to her because she started yelling at her for saying good morning too loud. She went into a mini rant how she can’t stand how loud she is and that she just wants her to be quiet. Poor Kayley was on the verge of tears when I picked her up to take her upstairs. Before I walked away I looked Mrs. K in the eye and said, “She was just happy to see you. It’s not her fault you have a headache. There’s Tylenol in the bathroom.” It was probably more then I should say as an employee but there was so much more I wanted to say to her. I wish I could just smack some sense into her, make her see how she treats her daughter. I hate seeing her break her daughter’s heart just because she has no patience. Kayley wasn’t even loud when she greeted her mother. But because Mrs. K can’t (or won’t) control her drinking and left herself with a bad hangover, she took it out on her innocent 5 year old. She’s such a bitch.

Once again it was up to me to mend Kayley’s heart. She cried in my arms as I brought her upstairs to her room. Within a few minutes the tears subsided and she asked a question that nearly made me cry. She looked right into my face and asked, “Why does mommy hate me?” I wanted to cry, the tears were quickly on the way to my eyes but I somehow managed to hold them back. What do you say to a little girl who thinks her own mother hates her? I just said what came to mind. I hugged her and said, “Sweetie, your mommy doesn’t hate you! She doesn’t feel good today, her head really hurts and everything seems really loud. Remember when you were sick before Christmas and you kept saying your head really hurt? It’s like that. You didn’t do anything wrong. Mommy shouldn’t have yelled but we will leave her alone for today, ok?” She nodded that she understood and then she smiled and said, “can we bring mommy flowers to make her feel better?” You really have to love the sweet heart of a little child. Despite how her mother treats her, she has the kindest soul you could ever find in a person. I hope everyday that she is somehow able to always keep that.

After the mess of the morning the rest of the day went really well. Kayley had a blast at the park as usual and had a great session with her teacher. We did bring her mom some flowers because Kayley decided they would definitely make her feel better. She picked bright yellow tulips wrapped in pink paper. She was so proud to carry them into the house that I was just praying that her mom would be nice. Kayley found her mom lying on the couch in the family room and tip toed up to her. She whispered, “to make you feel better mommy”. Mrs. K jumped at first but actually smiled and thanked her. She accepted the flowers, gave her a little hug and a kiss on the forehead. I was grateful to not have a repeat of this morning. Kayley was anxious to see them in a vase and convinced her mom to come into the kitchen. I grabbed a vase and met them in the next room. They actually had a good time prepping the flowers and arranging them in the vase. Mrs. K even let Kayley pick where she wanted to put them. She chose the table next to the door in the entranceway. Yes, the same spot her mother had broken the vase the night before. Her reason was, “so daddy can seem them when he comes home”. So sweet isn’t it? Unfortunately, this was the end of Mrs. K’s good mood. It seemed the mention of the table reminded her of what Tara had said and she walked off without a word. The flowers distracted Kayley so she didn’t really notice. I stepped in and moved her attention to getting ready for her teacher who was coming in a few minutes.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Mrs. K stayed in her room and Kayley told Tara all about our day at the park. She gushed about the ducks and the swans with a special mention of their “fairy hunt”. Tara is so great with her and always tells her how much she loves her stories. After dinner the two of us watched a movie and then read a book before bed. She was fast asleep not long after. I’m losing all patience for Mrs. K although I haven’t had much left for a while now. My best friend told me I should to quit tonight. She’s worried what the stress will do to me if I stay much longer. Actually, a few of you have said the same thing in comments and messages. I must admit that I agree with you. I just can’t leave, not yet. Yes, the benefits are great and not having to pay any rent or utilities is great too. It’s not even those things that keep me here. It’s Kayley. I can’t walk away from her right now. I know it seems like I should just leave knowing they will just hire another nanny but it’s going to have to wait for a little while. I don’t know how long, but I just feel I need to be here for her for a little while longer. Maybe that’s crazy, I don’t know but it’s what feels right. I know I’ll be ok, I can handle it, it’s her I’m really worried about.

Anyway, I need to catch up on some sleep. I hope everyone continues to read and leave me your thoughts (through comments or messages). I love reading them and appreciate them very much! Enjoy your weekend!

Since I’m here I’ll answer a few questions. I do plan to attend college in about a year or so, and I want to earn a degree in education. I would love to be an elementary school teacher. I do love being a nanny but being a teacher is my goal. Another question was if I would recommend being a nanny to anyone else. That’s not an easy question to answer. Not everyone should work as a nanny but it can be right for the right people. You need a lot of patience and a love for children. You have to be willing to work a lot of hours for not impressive pay. You have to be willing to put up with tough parents in case you land a family anything like the one I work for. Not all families are as bad as this situation, actually most aren’t. I was with a lot of great families in the past and wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything. You learn a lot being a nanny. You get great experience with children in all types of situations, which you can always use later when you have your own. It’s a fun and stressful job all wrapped into one. I do enjoy what I do but it has its ups and downs like any other job. I hope that helped!

A sleepy nanny,


KelBug2685 said...

Hey. So I am also another person who found your link on craigslist and so far find your blogs interesting to read about. I am going for a 2nd interview with a family tomorrow that I will be nannying for full time. I have been babysitting for about 11 years now and have definitely had my experience with crazy families. One that sounds very much like yours right now, however this family had 4 children-sorry to say but none were intentionally planned and the last 3 were to make her husband stick around. I noticed how you wrote about saying how people tell you to never fall in love with the kids you babysit for but so far, I have had a hard time not loving the kids. I understand your need to have to stay with your family because of Kayley. She needs someone right now to be on her side. Just curious but did you ever get a chance to read the book The Nanny Diaries? Theres a movie about it now but I prefer the book myself. Well good luck with everything.

Anonymous said...

i found your blog on CL too. Im 23 and a live in nanny in MA. i work for a rich family too and they dont give there kids enough attention either which has led to the 4yr old girl acting out really bad and the 2yr old boy always wanting me instead of them. I would have left long ago but like you i feel i need to stay for the sake of the kids. i feel they need someone constant in there lives they can count on to care for them.

KelBug2685 said...

Hey. I am actually also 23 and live in MA. That crazy family I worked for, there was 2 toddlers and an infant. The 2.5 year old boy hated his mother for a little while. She owned her own business and was never around. She went back to work immediately after having him and he knew their full time nanny better than he knew her.I felt so horrible for the little boy. Whenever I was there feeding them dinner(they also had their own chef who came in a few times a week to make meals and leave em in the fridge) and they would always eat nicely for me and behave. if their parents were home, i could barely get them to sit down cause they were all vying for their parents attention. it was such a horrible situation.